March 15th, 2005

Fix It

You might have guessed from my last post that my new job hasn't been easy, well you'd be right about that. After five years I'd forgotten about the part where you go from being reasonably adequate at the tasks you're presented, to an incomptent boob who fucks up left and right.

There's a lot to know, a thousand tiny little details that must be juggled and every rule has an exception. So if I miss something, someone must come behind me and clean up my mess. I hate that part most of all, the taking of others' time to fix my mistakes, it makes me feel like a jerk.

I know I've only been at this for 7 days, and Mr. W thinks I'm being too hard on myself as always. I *am* hard on myself. I wish I was one of those people who sail through life without thinking of their past mistakes and regrets, but it's not in me. I'm enough of an ignoramus to fail, but not enough of an ignoramus to be uncaring about it. What a great combination...

Sorry if this post isn't really reaching you, I'm kinda in a bad mood - and as ever, my thoughts are highly disjointed.
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